I saw the sign

Sometimes, the world tries to tell you things and you just have to listen.

For instance:

Today, I roll out of bed after an extra bad sleep and it’s Monday. I’m not feeling the school thing, but hey it’s what I do.

I make it to the ferry terminal just in time for the commissionaire to tell me I missed the ferry by about 10seconds. It’s still at the dock, I can see people settling in. I buy a tea and read the paper and wait for the next one.

It’s at this point that I check my BlackBerry and notice an e-mail telling me my afternoon class is cancelled. Sweet.

30min later the next ferry arrives and I reluctantly board. We make it 20m into the harbour and do a 360.  Apparently we have to go back to the dock and switch boats for some reason. It was a sign.

I got off the boat and went for a long walk in the Public Gardens. I sat on a bench, watched the ducks and drank my tea.

The End.

Body and soul I’m a freak

I have LIFE magazine on my twitter feed and they always have awesome stories to follow and amazing pictures to look at. Today, there was a hilarious link to a slide show of 29 unusual phobias that I really cannot resist sharing…

 

But not until I make some snarky comments about some of them…..

 

#2 Fear of mirrors: Fear of your ugly assed face?

#4 Fear of speed: Grandma???

#5  Fear of Theaters: I believe that is actually called homophobia….

#7 Fear of dancing: A by-product of being white….

# 8 Fear of Poetry: aka former English majors?

#13 Fear of Beautiful Women: Self esteem issues…

#15 Fear of France or French Culture: Really? REALLY? Who has this?! Don’t you just mean, “ignorance”??

#23 Fear of Otters: What the hell?! For real? I seriously want to meet somebody who is clinically afraid of OTTERS

#24 Fear of the Pope: Fearful or smart? You be the judge…..

#28 Fear of Getting Wrinkles: I believe this one is called vanity……

Seriously… check these out… people are afraid of some weird stuff.

http://www.life.com/image/first/in-gallery/35512/29-rare–unusual-phobias

How come I end up where I started….

Anybody remember the website “Overheard in Halifax”? (It was last updated in 2005, but still exists here) Anyway, it was a good time. It’s a knock off of the wildly popular Overheard in New York which I find super entertaining.

Anyway, lately I’ve overheard the following classic that needs mentioning…

At Tom’s Little Havana

Suit 1 to Suit 2: “Did you know there’s no such thing as a Brontosaurus anymore?”

I don’t know about you, but when I go to the bar for a relaxing cocktail I like to discuss dinosaurs and stuff……

Sometimes this place has moments of hilarity……

I will return to the city of lakes.

On Dartmouth…

The good:

Hey Dartmouth, I dig Alderney landing, and that night that Wilco played, and the whole thing with the train happened? Yeah, that was pretty magical. And really, is there is any better venue to see Joel Plaskett? The answer is no. I also have to say there is no better view of Halifax in the whole world than from your murky shores.  Not to mention, we all know how much I love me a boat ride. But finally, I must give some mad respect for a little place called John’s Lunch. One of the last places around where you can step into a time warp. Who knew?

The bad:

Unfortunately, my Darkside friend, there is some bad about you. Why do I always feel like I’m about to get jumped/knifed/robbed/shot/abducted/………? when I stand at the Bridge Terminal waiting for the bus? Is it maybe due to the fact that people who wait for the bus in Dartmouth feel the need to talk to themselves? Also, the place clears out and becomes super scary as soon as the sun goes down. That doesn’t do anything for your reputation. Perhaps you could use some PR counselling? I can help with that you know….

The Ugly:

Finally, City of Lakes, I gotta lay it all out there. Oil refineries? Abandoned buildings? You’re kind of ugly yourself! I know that’s harsh, but that’s what friends are for, right? I’m really trying here to give you a chance, but it just seems like at every opportunity you’re sticking it to me. The transportation system leaves much to be desired and when it rains there… well it just seems wetter and colder. And so, as I am definitely somebody who believes in second chances, I will give you another try Dartmouth. Please don’t make me bitter with you, I really am a lover and not a hater.

Love,

Mel. xoxo

A new name for everything

To Recap…..

School is in session.

I’m pretty stoked about this. I dig the majority of my classmates immensely and it is nice to be challenged once again.

I have once again fallen off the wagon.

Quitting serving is harder than quitting hard drugs. Not that I have ever had to kick a hard drug habit… but you know… metaphorically speaking and stuff…. I lasted all of 2 weeks on the other side of the table. One shift a week is perfect- a nice break, but a good reminder to study hard and bust ass at school.

I am flying solo.

Just me… no more husband to be.

So… I think that about sums up the two cent version of the past month or so in the life of Mel….

A lot of what were are doing in school right is focusing on social media and the profound impact it can have on people’s lives. For a really long time I think I have tried to avoid a lot of  these outlets ; or at least limit my use of them.  I am trying to change this and use social media outlets a bit more, or at least not feel so cheap and guilty when I do spend 20 minutes on Facebook here and there… At any rate… hopefully this will be a personal challenge to write in this particular outlet a bit more… Just maybe not every day…..

I could have lied

Ok, so clearly my ambitious goal of regaling the loyal readership (!) of this here outlet with a new story for every day of the countdown to no more serving was a huge failure.  I didn’t even make it one day! Oh well…  Maybe stories like that are better left for a bottle or two of wine on a quiet night in.

My last night was pretty anti-climactic to say the least. I told my last table that they were the last people I would hopefully ever serve and they feigned interest or something…

I still feel like I’m just on vacation and that I will eventually have to go back to work. Who knows, maybe I will.. depending on how well my money situation holds out….

Is it the first day of school yet???

This is the end…

Well… after 9 years in the service industry, I am hanging up my apron for (hopefully) the final time at the end of this week.

To say it has been an interesting ride doesn’t really do the experience justice.  It’s been an amazing, overwhelming, terrible, hilarious, disgusting, exhausting, exhilarating, frustrating, consuming, debaucherous, life changing experience.

I’ve shared some stories here but I still have countless others waiting to be told. This week I’m going to try to share a new story every day in an effort to create some kind of send off to my illustrious career as the help, dishwasher, bartender,  janitor,  plumber,  diplomat,  bouncer, entertainer,  procurer of substances (both legal and not),  boss lady,  babysitter and waitress.

What a long strange trip it’s been.

Who are you?

Over the years I’ve had a  lot of opportunities to learn about different jobs and careers. Through all of this experience, I have ultimately been on a quest to find out what I do want to do.  This has led to many revelations. I have figured out a lot of things I do not want to do; these jobs include washing dishes, working in a fish plant, being a secretary, manual labour of any sort and so on….

I have yet to really figure out what exactly I do want to do, though through process of elimination the list of possible career choices seems to get shorter and shorter.

In the past few months I have heard the phrase “I want you to be more like so and so” a few too many times.  Good ol’ so and so is always just rocking a solid program. So and so is always happier, more popular, a better employee and ultimately smarter… At least in the eyes of the people telling me to be more like so and so.

So I think I have found my answer. The quest is over. I finally know what I want in a job.

I want a career where nobody tells me to be more like so and so. I want a job where being me is just fine and so and so can just fuck right off.

Waiter rant

I just finished reading Waiter Rant, a book about the life of, who else, a disgruntled waiter. The guy has a blog, http://waiterrant.net/ but I found the book way more entertaining…

Anyway, in the back section he has an appendix which lists “50 ways to tell you’re working in a Bad restaurant”

I thought it was sort of ironic that the old job, which prides itself on being very professional but commits many of the offenses listed:

• 2. Your start working Friday and Saturday nights the first week (That’s because waiters quit with alarming regularity)
• 9. The employee bathroom is so gross it would be better just to have a hole in the ground
• 10. The toilet paper in the employee bathroom could double for sandpaper
• 12. There are always either too any waiters on the floor or not enough
• 16. Owner, GM or chef makes fun of a staff person’s significant others
• 19. You start drinking more
• 21. You have to pay the owner a percentage of the merchant fee on your credit card tips
• 22. The manager expects a share of your tips (illegal!)
• 24. There aren’t enough teaspoons, so you have to hoard them in your apron in order to have enough for dessert service
• 26. There’s never any soap or hand sanitizer around
• 28. The manager is constantly calling you to work extra shifts
• 30. Management tells you to work sick. (Good evening I’m typhoid Mary and I’ll be your server tonight)
• 31. If you lose a credit card slip, the owner takes the check amount out of your compensation until the credit card company transmits the funds into his account. You lose the tip.
• 33. Management makes you pay if a customer skips on the bill.
• 35. You’re working a double and management laughs when you ask to take a break.
• 37. The owner tells you that you’re part of a restaurant “family” and that “going above and beyond” to “exceed customer expectations” is expected. After a couple of shifts you begin to realize the Manson Family had more on the ball than these guys.
• 38. The restaurant is dirty.
• 39. Heavy turnover of staff. The place is a meatgrinder and you are the meat.
• 42. The fire exits are always blocked by extra chairs, tables or pieces of equipment
• 44. There’s no first aid kit
• 45. The owner’s never around when you need him and always there when you don’t

Yikes…..

What else is new

Well… It’s been a whirlwind few weeks.

We inherited a van, it’s pretty sweet to have wheels I must admit.

It’s just kind of funny I suppose. Getting your first car is supposed to be sort of a monumental experience/ life moment. I always thought it was supposed to be something that you worked for and made sacrifices for and picked out with great care… not something you just kind of end up with one day. Not that I am complaining at all, I just never thought my first car would be a big black mini van.

I suppose it’s fitting since I sort of have 2.5 kids now….

All that’s missing is the house in the ‘burbs….

Don’t get any ideas.

I have started the next (final??) chapter in my illuistrious love/hate relationship with the service industry. To say it was a sudden decision is kind of an understatement… I handed out resumes on a Tuesday, had a phone call Wednesday, an interview Thursday and a job on Friday… funny how things happen sometimes I guess. It was time to go.. and besides the new job will provide me with way better material to write about….. or something.

We’ll just say that it was time, 4 years is a long time anywhere, let alone a company that is like having a big disfunctional family that happens to be located in the biggest small town in the whole world. A drunken patron on my last night sat at my bar, with his larger than life personality and told me repeatedly that everything was going to be ok, because he just had a feeling about me. Strange as it sounds it was comforting.

I’ve felt pretty stuck for a long time; longer than I was willing to admit I think. Recently some pretty random people have been saying things to me through conversations that for one reason or another have made me face a few facts about various things. I realize that last sentence was pretty vague but it says it all really.

I keep waiting for things to change and go forward but it feels like I am just pushing up against a wall.  I feel like I am trying too hard and not hard enough all at once. Awhile ago a friend told me that if you throw enough shit against a wall eventually some of it will stick. I guess my arm is just getting a bit tired from the relentless shit tossing that I’ve been doing.

On the subject of other things… I planted a garden on my patio which I am pretty stoked about. Who needs to live in the country..

Whether or not anything grows we’ll have to see.

I caught the cats spooning this afternoon. FYI Darwin was totally the cheating spoon…..